Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round!" The other one says "So are you, you fat b*&%*" * * * * * Two cannibals eating a clown. Says one to the other "Does this taste funny to you?" * * * * * A blind bloke walks into a shop, lifts his guide dog into the air by its lead and starts swinging it around his head. An alarmed shop assistant rushes over shouting "Can I help you Sir?" (this is England, remember). "No thanks," says the blind man, "I'm just looking round" * * * * * Police arrested two kids yesterday, one for drinking battery acid and the other for eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other off. * * * * * Strange isn't it! Stand in the middle of a library and scream and you get thrown out. Do the same thing in an aeroplane and everybody joins in. * * * * * He said,"I'm going to chop off the bottom of one of your trouser legs and put it in the library. I thought,'That's a turn-up for the books.' * * * * * And the back of his anorak was leaping up and down and people were throwing money into it. I said, "Do you earn a living doing this?" He said, "Yes. This is my livelihood." * * * * * So I was getting into my car and this bloke says to me "Can you give me a lift?" I said, "Sure, you look great. The world's your oyster. Go for it!" and drove away. * * * * * You know, somebody complimented me on my driving today. They left a note on my windscreen. It said 'Parking. Fine.' * * * * * I got home and the phone was ringing so I picked it up and said, "Who's speaking please?" And a voice said, "You are!" * * * * * Two pelicans sitting on a perch. Says one "Something smells fishy!" * * * * *

Welcome to    the Godfreys    website